So for this post to make any sense whatsoever, you need some background into what happened last night. Then we can get to the part about coloring. Sound good? All right.
So last night was our last regional marching band competition. We hadn't competed against other bands for about a month and we were ready to kick butt. We had had two fantastic rehearsals and what seemed like a productive second wind that was gonna lead us to victory. The seniors especially were ready to give it their all at their very last outdoor show. So we performed in Prelims like we always did. Strong, energetic, with minor mistakes we knew we could fix before we got to perform next. You could feel it in the air that our Finals run was gonna shake the stadium. So we went to Prelims retreat, waiting with baited breath to see where we placed among the 5 extremely strong programs at the show. The Distinguished Superiors and Superiors were thrown left and right, with no strong indication of who got what. Then the score announcements, in 2A Santa Fe with an 83. In 3A, Gainesville with an 84. In 4A, Buchholz with a 88. We were sweating; we simply didn't know. 5A. 2nd place. Nease with an 86. Sighs, Fleming Island beat us again with an 89. Third overall. Best Colorguard. Not bad. We were high enough on the board that we could potentially fight for 2nd or maybe even 1st, but low enough to put the heat on us to do even better. We were dismissed. Straight to the food stand we ran, because we knew that this venue was notorious for running out of food by dinnertime. Standing in line we heard a muffled announcement on the loud speaker, probably just a band director late to critique. Seconds later, our band lieutenants tell us that the announcement was that Finals was cancelled due to inclement weather coming towards the stadium. That was it. We were going home. An unceremonious end. It just wasn't fair. I felt empty, like something was stolen from me.
We drove home on the bus, and I tried for 3 hours to take a nap. But it was only 7:30 and it didn't feel quite right, so I only slept for maybe 40 minutes. I drove my friend and her sister home. It was my friend's 18th birthday. She climbed into my passenger seat, sat down and spoke, defeatedly, "This has been the worst 18th birthday ever." Then on the way she told me how she had cried over and over again all night, inconsolable. Longing for that last run to finish off her birthday right. I wished I could have commiserated with her but I didn't cry at all that night. I never cry.
So this morning I woke up bright and early to go to my job at my church's nursery. Nothing out of the ordinary, except that I was significantly better rested than usual. I had my Starbucks red cup full of Peppermint Mocha and a Chocolate Croissant. All seemed well.
At about halfway through my shift, one of my co-workers, who doesn't speak English very well, was sitting with a little girl helping her color a Thanksgiving coloring book page. I was watching another kid but from across the room I heard, "No. No. Don't color outside the lines, that's not how you're supposed to do it. Go slowly and color inside the lines so your picture doesn't look bad."
That made me really angry inside for some reason. I wanted to say something to her but I knew it wasn't a big deal and she might not have meant exactly what she said. But in my head I thought, "Never ever tell a kid they're not supposed to color outside the lines. Let them color what and where they want to color, it's more fun that way. Some of the best art in the world is not what was 'inside the lines'."And the rest of my day I kept thinking, how many times have I been told in my life to color inside the lines? To not read ahead? To do it this way, not this other way, because that is the right way to do it? I get where they're coming from from a logical standpoint but really why does it matter to you if I color inside the lines? Let me be me. Let me learn to make things for myself that don't necessarily follow the guidelines.
These thoughts are probably the product of too many college essays about how minute things can carry supreme meaning and things that I observe in the world that should be changed or maybe just the emotional residue from last night. I just don't know. All I know is that I will most likely never tell anyone to color inside the lines for as long as I live.
So I ask you guys, do you think you should color inside the lines?
Have a thoughtful November 9th, (and probably the rest of November because my blogging consistency is not stellar)
Colleen
Sunday, November 9, 2014
Constant Motion (The Month in Review)
Hello Internet! I have returned!
So it's been about a month since I last posted because so much has happened that I am either going somewhere, doing something, or finishing said thing and recovering from it in the form of excessive sleeping or Netflix binging, just to wake up and do it all over again the next day and the next and the next. Therefore, I have a lot to report.
October Reviewed
Band
Band has been insanely busy. October is make or break time for any marching band, and for the most part, I think we've done our best to make it. On October 4th we competed for the very first time this season and placed first in Prelims and in Finals, winning every category except one. Not a bad way to start, but it also gave us a little bit of a superiority complex, which has never served us well in the past. At a competition the next week, we went up against some "stiffer" competition in the form or long-time rival Fleming Island and a band from Georgia three times our size. We placed third overall in Prelims, even with an extremely biased judging panel. Needless to say we were angry and hungry to prove ourselves in Finals. The Finals show was in a word. Epic. The crowd was on their feet and the staff was bouncing up and down with joy and pride. The judges wanted a show, we gave 'em a show. Still placed 3rd in Finals but we were still ecstatic after that run. Then began, what I can see now retrospectively, the slump. Practices were lame and unfocused, final runs after rehearsal were unsatisfactory and we seemed to be losing the smile that band is supposed to put on our faces. It was now that Side 2, my unofficial officerial territory since only a handful of upperclassmen and one lucky officer were located within a 40 foot radius. So I took a little more responsibility over them, running sectionals (although only one successfully up to this point) and guiding them during practices. And they're improving, slowly but steadily and emphasis on slowly. Our competition was the next Saturday and I got to band guide my little brother's band. It was so wonderful because I got to watch my baby bro at his and his band's first competition in history and have the cushy competition job that does basically nothing for the whole day. They got absolutely terrible scores and as my brother put it, "two trophies for showing up". We had a pretty kickin' show for working 12 hours beforehand so the night was pretty chill overall. The next week was FBA. One run. No scores. No places. Just ratings. Our district is pretty lax when it comes to marching bands so we were the superstars of the show. That show was rockin' as well and we were greeted on the field by St. Augustine and Ponte Vedra High Schools shouting us a verbal Good Luck, just like we had to them 5 hours earlier and at the end the crowd gave us a standing ovation. Crazy and awesome. Afterwards we walked to our trailers and nearby Bartram Trail was chanting our name as we walked by. Then the infamous Senior Circle, where we prayed to Based God and sang songs and laughed and reveled in the wonderful moment. Our director came back with the plaque symbolizing our Straight Superior Ratings. It was the crowning gem on the extremely awesome night. Unfortunately, we haven't been able to get that feeling back recently. More bad rehearsals and time spent auditioning for Indoor Winter programs and less time nurturing our show to its full potential. We need a kick in the butt and we need it now.
Wow, that was just band. Yeesh.
School
First of all, damn, IB is hard. The month of October has been filled with EE deadlines and meetings (EE check-in - Topic is How were the usages of ancient Greek and Chinese horoscopes similar in their respective cultures? Total of 1000 out of 4000 words written. Due mid-December. Terrified), Internal Assessment outlines and drafts in at least 3 different classes and a general lack of caring about any of them. Never have I been so inclined to do anything other than my homework. I just doesn't seem worth it anymore. Calculus BC has simply become a place to recreate how they did calculator calculations when there were no such things. My argument is, I have a calculator, why can't I just use that? Notes don't seem worth it either because at this point I either know the material or I don't. I talked about having Senioritis at the beginning of the school year but I think I've gotten worse. It's progressed to Senior-bola or something like that. It's bad.
And then there's what happens after this year. College apps a plenty over at Casa Colleen. So far I have officially applied to UF and FSU and Rice, UVa, UNC Chapel Hill and spur-of-the-moment, last minute addition UC Berkeley are in the works. I swear, if I see another text box saying what words exemplify my character or what my life aspirations are, I'm going to go mad. I'll let you know how that pans out in Oh say, 3 or 4 months. Ughh.
Other Life Things
Haha, psych! I don't have a life outside of band or school, that would be just silly. But really, my job has been good. I finally got all my paperwork turned in so I actually got paid this month and a baby fell asleep in my arms and it was about the cutest thing ever. I skipped my last Homecoming dance to watch Halloweentown and eat food with a few of my besties, so really who were the real winners in that situation?
That's essentially October in a nutshell. A blog post to make up for all of the ones I didn't write this month. November will have interesting things to come so hopefully more frequent posts. Catch ya'll later, I have an IA draft to write :P
Have a hopefully stress-free November 9th,
Colleen
So it's been about a month since I last posted because so much has happened that I am either going somewhere, doing something, or finishing said thing and recovering from it in the form of excessive sleeping or Netflix binging, just to wake up and do it all over again the next day and the next and the next. Therefore, I have a lot to report.
October Reviewed
Band
Band has been insanely busy. October is make or break time for any marching band, and for the most part, I think we've done our best to make it. On October 4th we competed for the very first time this season and placed first in Prelims and in Finals, winning every category except one. Not a bad way to start, but it also gave us a little bit of a superiority complex, which has never served us well in the past. At a competition the next week, we went up against some "stiffer" competition in the form or long-time rival Fleming Island and a band from Georgia three times our size. We placed third overall in Prelims, even with an extremely biased judging panel. Needless to say we were angry and hungry to prove ourselves in Finals. The Finals show was in a word. Epic. The crowd was on their feet and the staff was bouncing up and down with joy and pride. The judges wanted a show, we gave 'em a show. Still placed 3rd in Finals but we were still ecstatic after that run. Then began, what I can see now retrospectively, the slump. Practices were lame and unfocused, final runs after rehearsal were unsatisfactory and we seemed to be losing the smile that band is supposed to put on our faces. It was now that Side 2, my unofficial officerial territory since only a handful of upperclassmen and one lucky officer were located within a 40 foot radius. So I took a little more responsibility over them, running sectionals (although only one successfully up to this point) and guiding them during practices. And they're improving, slowly but steadily and emphasis on slowly. Our competition was the next Saturday and I got to band guide my little brother's band. It was so wonderful because I got to watch my baby bro at his and his band's first competition in history and have the cushy competition job that does basically nothing for the whole day. They got absolutely terrible scores and as my brother put it, "two trophies for showing up". We had a pretty kickin' show for working 12 hours beforehand so the night was pretty chill overall. The next week was FBA. One run. No scores. No places. Just ratings. Our district is pretty lax when it comes to marching bands so we were the superstars of the show. That show was rockin' as well and we were greeted on the field by St. Augustine and Ponte Vedra High Schools shouting us a verbal Good Luck, just like we had to them 5 hours earlier and at the end the crowd gave us a standing ovation. Crazy and awesome. Afterwards we walked to our trailers and nearby Bartram Trail was chanting our name as we walked by. Then the infamous Senior Circle, where we prayed to Based God and sang songs and laughed and reveled in the wonderful moment. Our director came back with the plaque symbolizing our Straight Superior Ratings. It was the crowning gem on the extremely awesome night. Unfortunately, we haven't been able to get that feeling back recently. More bad rehearsals and time spent auditioning for Indoor Winter programs and less time nurturing our show to its full potential. We need a kick in the butt and we need it now.
Wow, that was just band. Yeesh.
School
First of all, damn, IB is hard. The month of October has been filled with EE deadlines and meetings (EE check-in - Topic is How were the usages of ancient Greek and Chinese horoscopes similar in their respective cultures? Total of 1000 out of 4000 words written. Due mid-December. Terrified), Internal Assessment outlines and drafts in at least 3 different classes and a general lack of caring about any of them. Never have I been so inclined to do anything other than my homework. I just doesn't seem worth it anymore. Calculus BC has simply become a place to recreate how they did calculator calculations when there were no such things. My argument is, I have a calculator, why can't I just use that? Notes don't seem worth it either because at this point I either know the material or I don't. I talked about having Senioritis at the beginning of the school year but I think I've gotten worse. It's progressed to Senior-bola or something like that. It's bad.
And then there's what happens after this year. College apps a plenty over at Casa Colleen. So far I have officially applied to UF and FSU and Rice, UVa, UNC Chapel Hill and spur-of-the-moment, last minute addition UC Berkeley are in the works. I swear, if I see another text box saying what words exemplify my character or what my life aspirations are, I'm going to go mad. I'll let you know how that pans out in Oh say, 3 or 4 months. Ughh.
Other Life Things
Haha, psych! I don't have a life outside of band or school, that would be just silly. But really, my job has been good. I finally got all my paperwork turned in so I actually got paid this month and a baby fell asleep in my arms and it was about the cutest thing ever. I skipped my last Homecoming dance to watch Halloweentown and eat food with a few of my besties, so really who were the real winners in that situation?
That's essentially October in a nutshell. A blog post to make up for all of the ones I didn't write this month. November will have interesting things to come so hopefully more frequent posts. Catch ya'll later, I have an IA draft to write :P
Have a hopefully stress-free November 9th,
Colleen
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