So for this post to make any sense whatsoever, you need some background into what happened last night. Then we can get to the part about coloring. Sound good? All right.
So last night was our last regional marching band competition. We hadn't competed against other bands for about a month and we were ready to kick butt. We had had two fantastic rehearsals and what seemed like a productive second wind that was gonna lead us to victory. The seniors especially were ready to give it their all at their very last outdoor show. So we performed in Prelims like we always did. Strong, energetic, with minor mistakes we knew we could fix before we got to perform next. You could feel it in the air that our Finals run was gonna shake the stadium. So we went to Prelims retreat, waiting with baited breath to see where we placed among the 5 extremely strong programs at the show. The Distinguished Superiors and Superiors were thrown left and right, with no strong indication of who got what. Then the score announcements, in 2A Santa Fe with an 83. In 3A, Gainesville with an 84. In 4A, Buchholz with a 88. We were sweating; we simply didn't know. 5A. 2nd place. Nease with an 86. Sighs, Fleming Island beat us again with an 89. Third overall. Best Colorguard. Not bad. We were high enough on the board that we could potentially fight for 2nd or maybe even 1st, but low enough to put the heat on us to do even better. We were dismissed. Straight to the food stand we ran, because we knew that this venue was notorious for running out of food by dinnertime. Standing in line we heard a muffled announcement on the loud speaker, probably just a band director late to critique. Seconds later, our band lieutenants tell us that the announcement was that Finals was cancelled due to inclement weather coming towards the stadium. That was it. We were going home. An unceremonious end. It just wasn't fair. I felt empty, like something was stolen from me.
We drove home on the bus, and I tried for 3 hours to take a nap. But it was only 7:30 and it didn't feel quite right, so I only slept for maybe 40 minutes. I drove my friend and her sister home. It was my friend's 18th birthday. She climbed into my passenger seat, sat down and spoke, defeatedly, "This has been the worst 18th birthday ever." Then on the way she told me how she had cried over and over again all night, inconsolable. Longing for that last run to finish off her birthday right. I wished I could have commiserated with her but I didn't cry at all that night. I never cry.
So this morning I woke up bright and early to go to my job at my church's nursery. Nothing out of the ordinary, except that I was significantly better rested than usual. I had my Starbucks red cup full of Peppermint Mocha and a Chocolate Croissant. All seemed well.
At about halfway through my shift, one of my co-workers, who doesn't speak English very well, was sitting with a little girl helping her color a Thanksgiving coloring book page. I was watching another kid but from across the room I heard, "No. No. Don't color outside the lines, that's not how you're supposed to do it. Go slowly and color inside the lines so your picture doesn't look bad."
That made me really angry inside for some reason. I wanted to say something to her but I knew it wasn't a big deal and she might not have meant exactly what she said. But in my head I thought, "Never ever tell a kid they're not supposed to color outside the lines. Let them color what and where they want to color, it's more fun that way. Some of the best art in the world is not what was 'inside the lines'."And the rest of my day I kept thinking, how many times have I been told in my life to color inside the lines? To not read ahead? To do it this way, not this other way, because that is the right way to do it? I get where they're coming from from a logical standpoint but really why does it matter to you if I color inside the lines? Let me be me. Let me learn to make things for myself that don't necessarily follow the guidelines.
These thoughts are probably the product of too many college essays about how minute things can carry supreme meaning and things that I observe in the world that should be changed or maybe just the emotional residue from last night. I just don't know. All I know is that I will most likely never tell anyone to color inside the lines for as long as I live.
So I ask you guys, do you think you should color inside the lines?
Have a thoughtful November 9th, (and probably the rest of November because my blogging consistency is not stellar)
Colleen
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